The play begins with the audience being introduced to the golden days of Camelot and the grand country of England (not Finland, as the several actors seem to believe). King Arthur travels the land with his servant Patsy, trying to recruit Knights of the Round Table to join him in Camelot. Sir Bedevere, Sir Robin, and Sir Lancelot meet as they attempt to dispose of the sickly Not Dead Fred. They agree to become Knights of the Round Table together.
Meanwhile, Arthur attempts to convince a peasant named Dennis that he (Arthur) is king of England because the Lady of the Lake gave him Excalibur, the sword given only to the man fit to rule England. When Dennis still doesn't believe him, Arthur has the Lady of the Lake and her Laker Girls appear to turn Dennis into a knight. Cheered on by the girls, the Lady of the Lake turns Dennis into Sir Galahad. Together, with Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Play, they make up the Knights of the Round Table.
The five knights gather in Camelot, where they follow the policy "What happens in Camelot, stays in Camelot". In the midst of their partying, they are contacted by God (who sounds suspiciously like John Cleese) who tells them to locate the Holy Grail. Urged on by the Lady of the Lake, the Knights set off. They meet some very rude French Taunters at a castle they come to and split up shortly afterwards. Sir Robin and his minstrels follow King Arthur and Patsy into a "dark and very expensive forest" where they are separated. King Arthur meets the Knights Who Say Ni who demand a shrubbery. King Arthur despairs of finding one, but Patsy cheers him up and they find a shrubbery shortly after. The Knights accept it, but next demand that King Arthur create a Broadway musical.
The Black Knight appears but King Arthur more or less defeats him by cutting off both his arms and legs and leaving the stump of a body to find Sir Robin. Sir Robin, meanwhile, finds King Arthur and insists that it would be impossible for them to accomplish this next task, since you need Jews for a successful Broadway musical. King Arthur and Patsy promptly set off in search of Jews. While the Lady of the Lake laments her lack of stage time, Sir Lancelot receives a letter from who he assumes is a young damsel being forced to marry against her will. He is a little surprised to find that the damsel is actually a young man named Herbert who is being forced to marry against his will but defends the lad against his violent father, causing them to suspect Sir Lancelot is homosexual.
King Arthur begins to give up hope of ever making the Broadway Musical and feels alone (even though Patsy constantly insists that he's there as well). The Lady of the Lake appears and tells Arthur that he and the Knights were in a Broadway Musical all along. Patsy also reveals he is half Jewish, but didn't want to say anything to Arthur because he is a heavily-armed Christian. All that's left is for King Arthur to find the Grail and marry someone. After picking up on some not-too-subtle hints, Arthur decides to marry the Lady of the Lake following his finding the Grail.
Reunited with his Knights, the king meets Tim the Enchanter who warns them of the danger of an evil rabbit. When the rabbit bites a knight's head off, Arthur uses the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch against it, knocking down a nearby hill and revealing that the "evil rabbit" was actually a puppet that a Frenchman was using. A large stone block showing a combination of letters and numbers is also revealed. After pondering the final clue, Arthur admits that they're "a bit stumped with this one" and asks God for one final bit of help. A large hand points to the audience and Arthur realizes that the letters and numbers refer to a seat number in the audience. The grail is found under the seat and the person sitting in the seat is rewarded. Arthur marries the Lady of the Lake (who reveals that her name is Guinevere), Lancelot marries Herbert, and Sir Robin decides to take up writing Broadway musicals.
Meanwhile, Arthur attempts to convince a peasant named Dennis that he (Arthur) is king of England because the Lady of the Lake gave him Excalibur, the sword given only to the man fit to rule England. When Dennis still doesn't believe him, Arthur has the Lady of the Lake and her Laker Girls appear to turn Dennis into a knight. Cheered on by the girls, the Lady of the Lake turns Dennis into Sir Galahad. Together, with Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Play, they make up the Knights of the Round Table.
The five knights gather in Camelot, where they follow the policy "What happens in Camelot, stays in Camelot". In the midst of their partying, they are contacted by God (who sounds suspiciously like John Cleese) who tells them to locate the Holy Grail. Urged on by the Lady of the Lake, the Knights set off. They meet some very rude French Taunters at a castle they come to and split up shortly afterwards. Sir Robin and his minstrels follow King Arthur and Patsy into a "dark and very expensive forest" where they are separated. King Arthur meets the Knights Who Say Ni who demand a shrubbery. King Arthur despairs of finding one, but Patsy cheers him up and they find a shrubbery shortly after. The Knights accept it, but next demand that King Arthur create a Broadway musical.
The Black Knight appears but King Arthur more or less defeats him by cutting off both his arms and legs and leaving the stump of a body to find Sir Robin. Sir Robin, meanwhile, finds King Arthur and insists that it would be impossible for them to accomplish this next task, since you need Jews for a successful Broadway musical. King Arthur and Patsy promptly set off in search of Jews. While the Lady of the Lake laments her lack of stage time, Sir Lancelot receives a letter from who he assumes is a young damsel being forced to marry against her will. He is a little surprised to find that the damsel is actually a young man named Herbert who is being forced to marry against his will but defends the lad against his violent father, causing them to suspect Sir Lancelot is homosexual.
King Arthur begins to give up hope of ever making the Broadway Musical and feels alone (even though Patsy constantly insists that he's there as well). The Lady of the Lake appears and tells Arthur that he and the Knights were in a Broadway Musical all along. Patsy also reveals he is half Jewish, but didn't want to say anything to Arthur because he is a heavily-armed Christian. All that's left is for King Arthur to find the Grail and marry someone. After picking up on some not-too-subtle hints, Arthur decides to marry the Lady of the Lake following his finding the Grail.
Reunited with his Knights, the king meets Tim the Enchanter who warns them of the danger of an evil rabbit. When the rabbit bites a knight's head off, Arthur uses the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch against it, knocking down a nearby hill and revealing that the "evil rabbit" was actually a puppet that a Frenchman was using. A large stone block showing a combination of letters and numbers is also revealed. After pondering the final clue, Arthur admits that they're "a bit stumped with this one" and asks God for one final bit of help. A large hand points to the audience and Arthur realizes that the letters and numbers refer to a seat number in the audience. The grail is found under the seat and the person sitting in the seat is rewarded. Arthur marries the Lady of the Lake (who reveals that her name is Guinevere), Lancelot marries Herbert, and Sir Robin decides to take up writing Broadway musicals.
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